A GRANDSON TAKES PHOTOGRAPHS OF A NEW GRAVE SITE OVER A ONE YEAR PERIOD.

for me it is simply inherent
intrinsic as the shape and form of the rest of my head, shoulders, and all else connected

the explanation as given to me as a child
is that while attempting to retrieve a mug
from the cabinets in your kitchen
control was lost and broken upon my face
control that is
 
I bear the mark but I don’t remember the marking
the mug, the falling, the breaking, the sensation, the anything
control that is

                                         ***

and today
it is drifting through this fog induced traffic
this is where I lost the sick and broken you
the imagery
the visceral quality
gone
lost somewhere in the grey matter
and I wouldn’t so much mind but for the knowledge that it will not stop here

most of
the rest of it
will go too
slowly, slowly, slowly
like you yourself
whittled away over time
until all that is left is...

not the wound, not the memory of the wound, but simply the evidence that there once was a wound
entirely detached in every way
it is always invisible to me

oblivious to it until a childhood friend asked me about it
always oblivious until someone asks me about it
the explanation as given to myself is that it is location and distance
never having seen it with an unaided eye
it is the tensile strength of a memory

                                           ***

the last time I saw you
you stopped growing older

the last time I saw you
my memory started growing over

[ARCHIVAL INKJET PRINTS - photographic series]

2011