IN THE WOODS A MAN FINDS A LOG THAT IS COMPRISED OF THREE FUSED TREE TRUNKS, HE COUNTS BACKWARDS, AND THEN HE EMBEDS A ONE CARAT RUBY IN THE GROWTH RING THAT CORRESPONDS TO HIS SON’S BIRTH YEAR.

it's that aroma
the fragrance of eastern forests

it settles in your bones
straight into the marrow
so that you pass it on to your children

I've been taught that the affinity for atoms to achieve stability by gaining or losing valence electrons provides a foundation for bonding...

and when we die
our cells live on
our cells live on
but just for how long?

and will they know that smell
when it hits them
when it always hits them

below the belt
and waiting for pharmaceuticals in Walgreens
or seated at desks
in South Carolina places
you've only arrived at for the first time

the imperfect particles
the ones of which I am made
the ones given to me
the ones I've passed along
the ones that will someday kill me then you
then those of us yet to come...
if they are to come at all

I've been taught that in atoms, the amount of valence electrons in their outer shells determines how the atoms interact with one another...

and orbits
and apogees and perigees
we grow together and simultaneously apart
our role in growing together is ensuring you grow apart from us
you are a satellite built for launch
early in July into the cancer sky
much like my father
some half a century before

I've been taught that an atom is said to have a closed shell when it has enough valence electrons in its outer shell in order to make it stable...

and today I recognized you for a moment as someone else
yourself
and all the Saturdays and evenings of work
I don't get that time back
it is a very limited allotment
I don't get a moment of it back
just know
someday all this will be gone
you, me, mom, Niels Bohr and hydrogen atoms

and thirty some years from now
if we all make it that far
we'll celebrate the revolutions
of roughly half our lives, all of yours
forty times around... soaking in the UV side by side
recognizing the naturally occurring rarity
but knowing it does nothing to
ensure such future stability
because we are getting older
and we all know where getting older ends

I've been taught that an atom is said to have an open shell when there are not enough valence electrons to make it stable, and an atom with an open shell is constantly trying to reach stability...

and when you are almost grown, when you are older
you will know when the fog sets into the valley
you will know that it is morning here
and you will know your parents are
waiting
but the draw elsewhere will be too enticing to return

and just before the backyard ends
there is the smell of cool air creeping out of the woods
a few steps past the perimeter...
it says enjoy it now
because somewhere in here is the place from which your childhood ran off never to return

I've been taught that the most reactive atoms are those that have electrons to lose, or those that have electrons to gain in order to maintain stability...

and they speak of infants
and how they bond by following moving objects with their eyes
and I'm thinking of this as I observe more planes than satellites
I'm looking for satellites
in the late summer night skies...
when if I lean back and blow up to them
I can see my breath
disappear into the deep blue
and then lose it with the rest of the moving lights
in all directions above

the natural progression of being your parents is one of losing you
and then you will lose us
and never remember when we take a breath, release, and never repeat
that we lost you first

and orbits
and apogees and perigees
you watching us, your parents, die
you, our son ,watching our parents die
you watching us watching our parents die
you one day watching your son watching us, your parents, die

[LOG, RUBY - sculpture]

2010